You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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