Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His nipple licking is glorious
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