everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
