smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
