afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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