East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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