The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
