Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
