Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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