The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
