so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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