Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
