we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
