Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
