if i died would you start the facebook group?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
