RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
