I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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