Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
