I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
