More tranny stories later!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
