I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
