Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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