Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Randomize
