You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
