so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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