the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
