so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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