Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
