I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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