Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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