she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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