All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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