A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
