PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
