I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
