Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it's like heaven, but drunker
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
