Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
