check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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