I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
