You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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