I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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