ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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