Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
