But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
