I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
