The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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