Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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