i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
