Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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