I don't think brook has ever known best
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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