This girl is more easily done than said...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
