i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
