Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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