i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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