i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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