Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
