Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just invented taco cereal.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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