Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
