Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
