I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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