So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
