Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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