What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
