New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
